Just the other day I talked to you about coming out to my boss. And then I talked to you about how apparently my entire office knows that I’m gay (obviously, because of my boss).
Which got me to thinking…
Would you be OK if someone decided to take the liberty of telling other people when you come out to them?
I think that coming out is a super personal and emotional experience. And when you come out to someone, I feel like it’s because you value the relationship with that person enough that you want them to know about that piece of your life. But I also feel like you’re confiding in them with this very personal information. You’re trusting that that person will respect your decision to come out to them and share that part of your life. And I feel like you’re also trusting that that person will respect your privacy and not share that with other people.
Am I right?
Now, I’m not saying that I’m upset with what happened and that people in the office now know. Like I’ve mentioned before, I don’t really hide it, just don’t advertise it.
In fact, when I came out to my boss it was very nonchalant. It wasn’t an “oh hey I’m gay” type of thing, it was much more matter of fact. After the fact, my boss told me I was pretty open to talking about it that night. I remember the night for the most part but I did drink plenty, so I suppose that I could have been the one that spilled the beans.
And to be honest, I’m happy that it’s out there and I don’t have to worry about other people maybe finding out or how to tell people or whatever…
But that’s not really the point of this post.
Assuming that it wasn’t me that told everyone, and my boss decided to share our conversation of me “coming out” so to speak, would you be upset?
It took me a couple of days to take it all in but when I thought about it all, and realized that literally everyone on that trip knew when I only told a couple of people, I was kind of upset. Not that everyone found out but that it seemed like it was discussed almost behind my back.
In hindsight it really doesn’t matter. It’s just something that I got to thinking about and was curious for some input.
What do you think?
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